Innocence Des Cauchemars
by Moro-moro
Summary: While on a mission in France, Allen falls into a deep coma-like sleep which no one can wake him from. While he sleeps, he is plauged with nightmares, while someone else is living one that could possibly be worse. :LaviXAllen:
1. Reality Zero: Prologue

_**A/N: **My first adventure into the D.Gray-Man universe, so bear with me with characterization. So, um... The title of the story translates into "Innocence of Nightmares", from French. Some of the title headings will be in French, seeing as how the first chunk of the story-story happens in Marseilles. Read for following warnings:_

**Short Chapters:** _The story-story chapters are a little longer, but the average chapter base is, on average, 100-200 words due to the story's nature. These will, however, grow longer as the plot continues. _

**Pairings:** _Lavi/Allen. I had a hard time choosing who, but I finally settled on Lavi, seeing as I like his personality better than Mr. Ponytail's. :smiles: _

**Confusion: **_The not story-story chapters aren't really supposed to make sense._

**Manga**: _I'm not drawing anything out of the manga after volumes 1-7. I'm a diehard fan, so I've decided not to read the scans 'cause reading the manga is a much more nail-biting experience. So, no spoilers, and no play off of the future plot. Consider this an AU/Divergence!_

**Author:** _I'm kinda lazy, but updates should be steady, because I handwrite the manuscript for my friend Emiggax, who'd kill me if I slacked off._ _She also gives me advice._

* * *

**Reality Zero: Prologue**

He reached forward, using all his strength just to strain his arm forward. His gloved fingers scraped against the corpse on the altar until they found the cold, hard purchase of metal.

His hand closed tightly around the rosary just as his back was torn open by steel-hard talons, ripping through his chest, sinking into the body below him.

"No!"

Blood spilled around him, splashing upwards as the sword like claws pulled out of the bodies. It splashed like rain, droplets falling on to the rosary that the black-clad teen held onto.

A bright blue light suddenly flashed from the slowly opening hand, filling the entire church with a burning light.

Allen fell to the ground, all the Akuma and the corpse crumbling to dust around him, falling like a decrepit snow.

**"_H…elp…"_**


	2. Dream Un: Snow

**Dream Un: Snow**

Everything was white. The ground, the sky. The air was filled with the static buzzing of wind and falling snow. No trees were visible, nor were houses or signs of civilization. It was blindingly bright, but no sun was visible in the white sky.

But even though it was snowing, the air was warm.

Puzzled, he raised his hands, only to find that his Innocence was gone. He blinked, and found that his right eye was blind.

Allen gasped, beginning to panic. Then, he began to choke.

The air was rotting. Suddenly, the air was moist with blood, and thick with the scent of dead, decaying bodies.

Allen screwed his eyes shut, then slowly opened them.

In front of him was a line of crosses, materializing one by one, from the fuzzy horizon. They seemed to go on and on into forever. On each one was a name. Blood began to bloom from under his feet, and the ground grew crimson as the blood spattered down. Ash fell from a now black sky.

Allen looked down at his hands, and found that they, too, were covered and dripping with blood. He found the crosses with his eyes, and dropped to his knees.

His friends, his partners, his employers, his enemies, even people he had never met…

He had killed them all.

"_**NOOO!!"**_


	3. Overture: Find

**A/N:** _I wonder if anyone can figure out what that string of binary says??? It's the same thing both times.

* * *

_**Overture: Find**

It was quiet in the church. Too quiet. The only noise came from a hushed, almost inaudible drip that was quickly covered by the noise of the Exorcist's boots.

Evidence of a struggle was everywhere. Pews were reduced to splinters, and several stained-glass windows were shattered beyond recognition; worst of all… There was blood everywhere.

Lavi wrinkled his nose, stepping over half of a broken crucifix. "Hey! Where are you?!" Anxiously, the teen began to reach for his weapon, looking around the ruined chapel.

Finally, his gaze came upon the altar.

Stricken, he took a step forward.

A body was curled on top of the raised surface, blood pooled around the broken boy. Ash settled against the pale skin, darkening the snow-white hair. His hand rested against a pile of clergy robes, and the imprint of a cross was burned into his human hand. His robes were in tatters from his battles. His skin was chalk-white.

It seemed as if Allen Walker was dead.

_"**ALLEN!"**_

**-0110010001110010011001010110000101101101011010010110111001100111-**

"The doctors are saying they don't know what's wrong with him," Lavi mumbled, leaning against the wall. "So I think you'd better get to France quick."

"What happened?"

The redhead sighed, scratching his head and shrugging in defeat as though Komui would be able to see him from over the telephone lines. "I was fighting a Level Two one moment, and then there's this huge flash of light and it just disintegrated. That was it. I went into the church to find Allen. I found him, then I took him here."

"Did you get the Innocence?"

Another sigh escaped the teen. "No," he said flatly. "I don't know where it went. I think it's Accommodator died."

"Do you think they got it?"

"No. It just… disappeared."

"And Allen won't wake up?"

"No," Lavi shook his head, staring into the room across the hall from him.

"I'll be there as soon as possible."

**"Please do…"**

**-0110010001110010011001010110000101101101011010010110111001100111-**

It had been a simple enough mission; reconnaissance, almost. It seemed that the patrons of the Eglise de Cauchemars were plagued with strange visions at night, and its priest was commonly known for attracting almost fatal danger. An Innocence was suspected, and Allen and Lavi were dispatched to France.

It was easy… until the Akuma showed up.

Now, Allen was seriously wounded… And he wouldn't wake up.

The doctors said he may've become catatonic due to the injuries, but Lavi suspected it had something to do with the mysterious disappearance of the Akuma… And the Innocence. But what really happened?

He could only sit and wait for the answer to come, and it was killing him.

"_C'mon, wake up…" _


	4. Dream Deux: Fire

**Dream Deux: Fire**

He opened his eyes, and fell to the ground. The sheer number of Akuma around him was crushing. Fake bodies were piled one on top of another, and they all were staring straight at him. Their eyes were glazed over with a sickening sheen of bloodlust, and unable to move, they decided to devour the human with their eyes.

One began to laugh, a twisted howl that shattered through Allen's body. The others began to follow suit until the teen clamped his hands over his ears and screamed. Tears began to stream down his cheeks, hissing as they evaporated against his skin.

Allen felt as if he were on fire, and the temperature grew hotter with every increase of volume from the demons around him.

Suddenly, everything went ice cold. Shaking uncontrollably, the Exorcist raised his eyes, and dropped his hands.

He stared in shock. Everything around him was in flames; the Akuma were burning, still laughing as the icy-hot inferno consumed them and ate away at their construct-bones.

Allen reached out, his hand halted by a sudden wall of glass. His feet were lifted from the fiery ground, his entire body encased in a glass sphere.

He rose over the flames, staring down at the wreckage.

The conflagration spread out into a cross, spreading every second until it formed the rose cross of the Black Order.

Suddenly the orb cracked, and Allen was falling, falling, falling….

"_Help!"_


	5. Dream Trois: Raining

**Dream Trois: Raining**

Allen shocked awake, sitting bolt upright. From across the room, Lavi looked at the younger boy in interest.

"Wondered when you were going to wake up," he chuckled, pointing.

Allen was aware of a dull, throbbing pain against his ear, and he raised his hand to find Timcanpy chomping away at his ear. "Ahhgh, Tim! Stop it!" he groaned, pulling the Golem away from his now bleeding ear.

He looked around, blinking as he realized where he was. "Hey… We're in our room… in France," he mumbled.

Lavi gave Allen a strange look. "Why wouldn't we be?"

"Well… we went to the church, and we were attacked, and then…" Allen shook his head and blinked, looking almost like a dog trying to shake his ears of water.

"Seems like you've been having some pretty strange dreams," Lavi laughed, throwing a pillow in Allen's direction.

The white-haired boy caught it, still frowning. Something didn't feel right… "I'm going outside for a moment…"

"I'll come too."

The younger Exorcist gave a faint nod, walking out into the crisp wet air. He could smell the sea, even though he couldn't hear it. Rain poured down through the atmosphere, and he stepped out into it, closing his eyes.

Something still didn't feel right. A bad feeling tingled in the back of his mind, burning his body to the core. It felt like someone was watching him…

He turned around, only to find Lavi reaching out for him, a cruel, twisted grin plastered to his best friend's face.

Allen could see the pentagram materializing on the older teen's forehead, and he screamed, only to be cut off by the vice-like grip of Lavi's hand around his neck.

"Yo…u're… an…."

"That's right," snickered the newly appeared Akuma.

"How come I didn't sense you," Allen choked.

His head snapped back and as his eyes began to glaze over, Road's face materialized in the dark-grey sky, laughing smugly.

"We figured out how to trick that eye of yours."

"_No… He was…m…y…"_


	6. Dream Quatre: Lost

**A/N:** _Next chapter blast! Whoo-hoo! This story is more popular than I'd thought it'd be. Wow. Seventeen reveiws for the last five chapters... Yaaaay!

* * *

_**Dream Quatre: Lost**

Green moss was moist and soft against his hands. Flowers waved in and intangible wind. Slowly, stars pinpricked the night through the leaves of numerous, enormous trees.

Allen's head lay against the rough bark of a giant red oak; he shifted slowly, moaning as he came to.

His memories flashed sickeningly before his eyes. Rain, Marseilles, and Lavi…

Lavi with the black pentagram of the Akuma blossoming under his wild red hair; Lavi with a wicked, blood-thirsty grin tearing across his normally happy-go-lucky face; Lavi's half-gloved fingers closing around his throat, crushing his trachea and snapping his neck…

His clenched his fingers into the moss; the pain in his neck was gone like it had never existed, but it was now replaced with a sharp, throbbing pain in his chest.

A choked sob escaped from Allen's clenched teeth. "Why?!" Tears streamed down his face and his hands rose to cradle his head.

Why… Why would someone turn Lavi into an Akuma?! Why would something like that happen?!

After a moment, the answer hit him. It wouldn't.

The sobs dried in Allen's throat, and he rose to his feet. That would never happen; the Order would never let it happen—He would never allow it to happen!

With shaking hands, the young Exorcist wiped his eyes. Afterwards, he looked around at his surroundings, taking in the damp, fragrant forest.

"What am I doing here…?"

The teen paused, feeling as if he needed to do something. Something important. A mission…?

"Someone…"

Allen began to walk; there was someone… Someone he needed to find. Someone he needed to see. Frantically, Allen pushed through the tall grasses and underbrush, searching.

Who? Who did he need to find?

The pain in his chest ached and Allen began to run, branches slapping his face and tearing at his skin.

Who? Who did he need to see?

The forest seemed endless at first, by the Exorcist soon came to a clearing. There was a person there, desperately fighting for their life. He couldn't see their face.

Allen rushed forward, reaching out to the person to help them fight.

As he neared the other, a scream of pain echoed across the silent trees. Blood began to rain.

The person fell forward, landing on their face. A large gaping hole ruined their body, and blood seeped away from it.

Allen backed away, trembling.

The world faded away, except for the white-haired Exorcist and the corpse in an uniform of the Order, head covered by a familiar, fallen scarf. Allen still couldn't tell who they were, but he was sure that some of the red he was seeing wasn't blood…

He was lost. Lost for words, lost for tears, lost for all movement; most of all, his heart was lost.

Who? Who did he need to see? Who did he need to find?

"_**Who is it that I'm lost without?!"**_


	7. Interlude One: Worry

**A/N: **_The birnary is different this time.

* * *

_**Interlude One: Worry**

This place was killing him. He wanted out. He wanted Allen to wake up so they could leave— together. Not even the hospital's library held any comfort for him.

Now, Lavi sat outside of Allen's room, back against the hallway's wall. He closed his eyes, waiting.

It had been a week since the battle at the church; a week since Allen had fallen into an unresponsive coma. Five days since the doctors had given up hope—five days since they told Lavi that his best friend was as good as dead. Five days of waiting for Komui to come and tell him differently.

"Why are you still here?"

Lavi jolted, blinking as he refocused his consciousness. In front of him stood Bookman, the old man's black-circled eyes angry and harsh.

The redhead flashed an unconcerned grin. "I'm waiting for Allen to wake up."

"Why?"

Lavi blinked, unused to this intense interrogation. "Well… 'cause I feel responsible, that's why. I just let him go into the church alone," he mumbled lamely, shrugging. "These things happen, I know, but… I think I could have—"

"Is that all?"

"What? Old man, what do you mean?"

Bookman scowled, glaring down at his successor for a long moment. "Remember that involvement is a liability," he sighed. Upon seeing Lavi's shocked face, he turned, crossing his arms behind his back.

"_You're more involved with that boy than you know."_

**-01101100011011110111011001100101-**

It hurt seeing Allen bandaged and unconscious against the hospital sheets. His arms were hooked up with the arbitrary needles of IVs and Komui's bizarre equipment. His chest barely moved, and his skin was chalk-white; it was times like these, in Allen's silent room, that Lavi almost felt like the doctors were right.

"He's asleep," Komui concluded, "and dreaming. …Lavi, you said that all the Akuma disappeared?"

"Yeah, after this bright light," the young Exorcist said, his gaze not leaving Allen for a second.

"And you don't know where the Innocence is?"

"No! I don't! What does that have to do with Allen now?!"

Komui sighed. "I think that the Innocence forced itself inside of Allen's body."

Lavi looked at the scientist, dumbfounded. A long minute of silence ensued, then Bookman finally said, from the back of the room: "An Accommodator can only house one Innocence at a time."

Komui nodded in agreement, Lavi still gaping. "And that is why Allen cannot awaken. I believe that his body is saving itself from the annihilation that would come from housing two Innocences. His body has basically shut itself down."

"But you said he was dreaming," the redhead protested, looking back and forth from Komui and Allen's comatose form.

"Ah… yes… The dreaming… Residual effects from the original use of the Innocence. Allen is caught in an un-ending dream where, I can only guess from prior reports of this one, he faces his worst fears."

"Dreaming can't keep the wrath of God away forever," Bookman said, his eyes trained on Allen, frowning.

With a somber sigh, Komui removed his cream colored hat and placed it over his chest in respect for both Bookman and Allen. "It can't. If we cannot remove the Innocence from his body as soon as possible, there can be no escape from the consequences. Allen's dreams will become more and more realistic, eventually swallowing his physical body. It will kill his heart, and he will become the equivalent of a Fallen One."

Lavi found that his body was shaking and that his eyes burned. He shook his head, dropping onto the foot of Allen's bed, clenching his hands together as if in prayer. "No…"

In the back of the room, Bookman scowled. "How sure of this are you?"

"Mostly sure," Komui said after a long moment. "But we'd have to take him to the Persian branch of the Order to check with a guardian. There's a chance that his wounds could have simply shocked his system into a shutdown."

Lavi's head shot up, and his face silently begged. "Then let's wait a few more days; you could be wrong," he said, his voice a forced even. "Let's be optimistic; Allen'd never let this kind of thing happen."

Komui frowned, sighing. "If we wait, it could be too late."

"_Just a few days. Let's just wait a few days; he'll wake up!"_


	8. Dream Cinq: Fighting

**Dream Cinq: Fighting**

"Hey, after dinner, let's go practice," Lavi suggested excitedly, leaning across the dinning table.

Allen blinked up from his food, a piece of toast half-way out of his mouth as he nodded. "Mm-khay," he mumbled.

"We'll need a referee! So you won't play dirty, Allen!"

"Hey! I don't cheat, it you who does, Lavi!" Allen protested. The redhead winked, tossing a carrot at Allen's head.

Allen ducked, throwing a piece of bread in retaliation.

Before the two started a full-blown food fight in the middle of the Black Order cafeteria, Kanda cut in with his cynical wisdom. "Act your age, Bean-sprout; you're a disgrace to the order," he muttered, gliding by, narrowly missing a handful of french-fries from Lavi's direction.

Next to Allen, Lenalee dissolved into giggles. "I'll referee for you two," she volunteered.

Allen grinned at her. "Keep him from cheating, alright?"

"I'll be sure to keep up with him," the girl assured, winking.

_"Let's go..."_

**-0110010001100101011000010111010001101000-**

A small crowd gathered out in the normally empty outdoor courtyard; all were watching excitedly as Allen and Lavi bantered back and forth with their anti-Akuma weapons. Lenalee bounding over the battle, calling fouls as she saw fit.

Everyone was laughing, even Allen and Lavi, as the battle ensued. The atmosphere was relaxed and enjoyable, bright despite the poorly-lit courtyard.

A bell began to toll from deep within the Order's internal structure. It rang twelve times, shaking the ground and splitting Allen's ears.

Beneath his feet, the cobblestone ground began to crumble, and everything broke. Shrieks destroyed the enjoyment, and Allen whipped his head around.

He and Lavi were standing on a separate chunk of earth, the rest of the Order yards away, standing clustered on the small amount of floor that was left next to a crumbling wall.

The white-haired Exorcist turned his eyes to face his companion, instantly fearing what he saw.

Lavi was charging towards him, face plainly showing that he was hell-set on death. On Allen's death, to be specific.

Allen dodged a blow from the older Exorcist's weapon, trying very hard to stay on the defensive.

The fight went on for a dizzying amount of time, most of which, Allen had no clue what was happening.

Finally he heard a scream, and realized that something warm and wet was trickling down his hand.

The boy blinked, and the broken ground faded back into entirety. It had all been an illusion. Very much confused, the white-haired teen looked around.

Panic-stricken, everyone was pressed against the wall, much as they had been in the fantasy-realm, the only difference was… They were scared of him.

Allen gulped, slowly turning his gaze to the person who had screamed: Lenalee.

Unable to look at her white, shocked face, he turned his eyes to the aftermath of loosing himself.

And he could barely stand seeing what he had done.

"No… God… no…"

The young man sank to his knees in the warm, red puddle, laying his head against his fallen friend.

"_**What have I done?!"**_


	9. Interlude Two: Destiny Denial

**Interlude Two: Destiny Denial**

Lavi curled quietly against the footboard of Allen's bed, holding a book tightly against his chest. It was a book he had already read before; one that he had devoured long before he realized that he was destined to become a Bookman. It was a book of myths and fairytales, worn at the spine and dog-eared to no tomorrow; it automatically opened to Lavi's favorite passages. It was a comfort thing that he always packed for a mission, much like a child's favorite plush or blanket.

Of course, the teen would never admit it to anyone, but he was starting to think that if Allen ever asked, he'd tell the boy in a heartbeat.

The redhead flipped to his favorite passage at the time—as corny as it sounded, it was about a princess who fell asleep because she did something stupid.

"Who knew that you were a princess, Bean-sprout?" the elder Exorcist mumbled.

Lavi laid the book down on the crumbled ivory sheets, and slid off the bed. He immediately plopped into the chair next to the headboard. He leaned forward, his fingers skimming against Allen's hair. "I wish waking you up was as easy as a kiss…"

The redhead sighed, sliding to the floor. He crossed his arms against the bedspread and laid his head upon them.

It was just so hard. Komui had given him two days to wait, but warned him that if Allen's condition changed at all, he'd be transported at the drop of a dime. And since those words, the boy had only gotten worse.

First his respiratory rate dropped, then his heart rate. It was a sign that he was falling further into his dreams, his body fighting desperately against the fate of a Fallen One.

A shuddering sigh escaped Lavi's lips, and he reached out and took Allen's slim hand in his own.

The redhead gasped, dropping it instantly; it was hot to the touch. The Exorcist jumped up, staring down at the cursed boy's face.

The pale skin was shaded red, and sweat was rolling down the younger teen's frail skin. It was painfully obvious: his body was going into shock.

Lavi swallowed painfully. Just five minutes ago, Allen was fine. Now… He was wrong, dead wrong. Komui was right—Allen wasn't going to wake up on his own.

The normally happy-go-luck teen shuddered in dread. "I won't let you die, Allen," he whispered, pressing a light kiss on the boy's lips before he even realized what he was doing.

He blinked, wondering why he had just kissed his best friend; he then swore, recalling Bookman's words the day before.

But whatever the situation, Allen was no sleeping beauty.

"_He's dying… he's dying…"_

**-01101100011011110111011001100101-**

Lavi stared blankly ahead, his chin resting on his folded hands. To normal people, he looked as if he was praying. But why would he? Inside, the Exorcist felt nothing but contempt for the God the Order served. Allen was an apostle! He carried Innocence; he was innocent! The boy wanted nothing but to save the world and the souls that inhabited it. If anything, Allen should be the one who was most loved by God. There were no selfish motives behind his actions, and the boy bore the weight of all his worries alone, never once complaining.

He shook, clenching his fists tighter. Across from him, his mentor scowled.

"Lavi. If you were asked, would you be able to record this event for the Order?" Bookman asked, breaking Lavi's tense concentration.

The boy blinked his emerald eye, a small frown creasing his face. After a second he grinned easily. "Of course I could, Old Panda."

"In black and white? Or would you let your own shades of gray contaminate the truth?"

"What do you mean by that," Lavi hissed defensively, "How could you even accuse me of that?! I know my place! I know it very firmly!"

"Then you know that you should not be so concerned about this boy, Lavi." The redhead gave a growl of anger, but the elder continued. "It is a Bookman's place to only observe; we are nothing but the ink on the pages of history. I understand the hardships of forming bonds with other humans, but it's something you must never do. Lavi, you have spent too much time with Allen Walker, and now… You have become irrevocably attached. A blasphemy of the Bookman lineage… And a taboo of the Holy Church we serve. Thus, you cannot be eligible to succeed me as Bookman…"

Lavi's anger evaporated, replaced with nothing but a churning sensation in the pit of his stomach. "Wha…What?"

The train entered a tunnel, and everything was lit with an eerie glow of candle-lit lanterns.

"**You are in love with Allen Walker."**


	10. Dream Six: Innocent Lives

**A/N: **_It's not said 'Couch-Mars', Emiggax. XD ... For everyone else, however, this is where the chapters begin to get longer, so I'll only post one or two at a time, pending on the length on my word processor.

* * *

_

**Dream Six: Innocent Lives**

Allen's head ached. His body burned. He felt like curling up and crying. Everything was wrong!

He pulled his feet forward, his eyes searching the dead town. Corpses riddled the street, human and not. For once, he didn't feel like crying and blaming himself for their deaths. He was searching for someone. Hoping for something. Wishing on a star for the first time in ages.

"Can you hear me?!" he cried, dropping to his knees.

The weariness consumed him. He wasn't going to find him. Alive, at least.

Too late. Too late. Dead, dead, dead. They were all so damn dead. Bodies everywhere. Fights everywhere. Blood running down the road like a sea of red. Innocents, non-innocents, clergy men, Exorcists, Finders, Akuma… Dead. Just dead. Like that. No screams, just dead.

Allen gagged, his throat convulsing.

Lavi. Dead. All. Dead. Lavi.

The only person he wanted to save, the only person he cared about saving today, died.

No point. No reason. Just died.

A snap of the fingers. Dead. The Noah…. Killed… Murders. Dead.

Allen retched again as something red caught his eyes. It was a familiar red, warm, comforting, but painful. Lavi.

Slowly, the white-haired boy crawled towards the body and curled against it, sobbing pitifully. "I couldn't save you, I couldn't save you."

The flash came so quickly. Everyone with two eyes open died on the spot, the light overloading and short-circuiting their entire system. Dead. Like Lavi.

Allen clung to the older boy's body, weeping violently. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry!!!"

A warm arm encircled his waist, and Allen jolted. He looked up, seeing Lavi blinking blearily. "G'morning, Bean-sprout…"

Allen let out a joyful sob, squeezing the older boy happily. "L-Lavi?!"

"Present. Damn… I've got such a bad headache…"

Allen was once again reduced to sobs, shaking helplessly in the elder Exorcist's arms. Lavi blinked, slowly standing, holding Allen in his grasp like a bride. "Hey… don't cry… Allen, what's wrong?"

Allen shook his head, leaning up to press a chaste, blissful kiss to Lavi's lips.

"I was so scared that you died!"

The redhead coughed awkwardly and set Allen down on his feet. He set his hands lightly on the younger boy's waist. "Allen, I'd never die and leave you alone. You're far too innocent to cope in this world without me!"

The cursed boy cuddled against the bloodstained shoulders of his love.

"_**Stay with me forever."**_

"_**I promise."**_


	11. Interlude Three: Epiphany Maze

**Interlude Three: Epiphany Maze**

In shock was to put it lightly. Lavi was completely shut-down. He sat beside Allen's makeshift bed, staring at the boy blankly as Komui did numerous tests and experiments on the poor, unconscious boy.

All that he had worked for his entire life, all that he had struggled towards… They weren't there anymore because of something he had never even realized.

One part of his brain said that he should be angry, but he wasn't. He was strangely relieved; he had a life in front of him that he could do whatever he wished with. A future with no more lies, years ahead him with choices to be made. It was overwhelming, but reassuring.

Even so, his heart filled with sorrow. What he expected to be, what he wanted to be, what he dreamt he'd be was denied him.

Then again, between the choice of books or Allen, Lavi would hands-down, always and forever, choose Allen. He just didn't understand why there couldn't be a compromise.

And love…? That never crossed his mind even once, but now… His heart was exploding. Emotions flooded his brain; things he'd never thought he'd ever be allowed to feel. The absence of the blinding black and white wasn't as empty as he thought it would be. He was slowly lulled into calm by washing waves of gray.

He smiled softly, expression breaking through the shocked shell for the first time in hours. He reached out and took Allen's hand, which was burning hot.

"…vi… Lavi."

Lavi blinked, staring up at Komui. "Eheh, yeah?" he inquired sheepishly.

"We're nearing Paris. I'll need you to help me get Allen to the Order's Persian headquarters. Afterwards, you're under orders to go back to HQ."

At this, Lavi blanched. "What?! No! I'm staying with Allen, dammit!" He stood, his height almost reaching his superiors. "I won't leave him for anything! He'd never leave me if I was in his position, and you know it, Komui!"

Komui shook his head, somber. "That may be so, but you are now under questioning by the Great Generals for involvement in the disappearance of an Innocence. You are no longer under the protection of the Bookman name. It cannot be avoided, Lavi."

"The Generals can go to hell," Lavi said, clipped and evenly. "I am going to stay by Allen, and no one can stop me. It's my choice to make. We will retrieve the Innocence from his body, and save him from death. Neither you, the Generals, or even God can stop me from doing that much."

Komui was quiet for a long moment, then chuckled resignedly. "I suppose if we can save Allen, then the Generals will have to call off the investigation," he mused. "Geeze, Lavi. You're scary when you're mad," he laughed.

Gradually, the train began to slow, and Lavi picked Allen up in his arms, glaring at Komui warily.

It wasn't that he distrusted the older man, he just didn't want anything getting in the way of the choice he made for himself.

He would stay beside Allen, no matter the cost.

"_Don't worry, I'll save you…"_

**-0111001101101100011001010110010101110000-**

The room was filled with roses; shots of red spread from the center of the flowers, fading into a creamy white. The light fragrance filled the air, perfuming it just right. There was no sun in the sky, but Lavi could feel warmth blossoming throughout. A path wound through the roses, marked by blue-gray and white jeweled pebbles.

Lavi hoisted his hammer over his shoulder, padding down the trail. He didn't once pause to wonder where he was.

The flowers, he realized, reminded him of Allen. He laughed at his own cheesiness, but picked one anyway, tucking it into an inside pocket of his coat.

The path wound around several times, and Lavi realized he was walking a backwards spiral, almost like a labyrinth with no dead-ends. Finding the end of the track was taking longer than he hoped, so he stopped at a fountain he saw a little off of the stoned walkway.

He sat at its side, closing his eyes and breathing peacefully. It was calm here. Somewhere far away, birds sang. The sky was a little unnerving, however. It was a light turquoise, with tuffs of blue clouds wandering in places. Instead of a sun, bright red stars sparkled behind the clouds.

Odd, but beautiful.

The fountain splashed behind him, reminding Lavi that he was thirsty. He twisted around, so he was half-perched on the fountain's edge.

The water was pitch black. The Exorcist blinked, finding his current reflection missing. Instead flashes of himself spread across the oily surface, playing out like a disjointed projection system.

First, he saw an Akuma version of himself, a blood-lusty smirk snarling his lips, his hands reaching out around a pale neck; then, he was fighting another Akuma, blood spilling around him, his emerald eye fading as the life drained away. Again, he saw himself dying, this time brought on by a familiar silver-clawed hand. There was a flash and a sob, and he could see himself waking, staring down into something white and shivering….

The images blended, and he could see an entire picture, himself and Allen curled together, sleeping peacefully as lovers.

And the water became clear.

Lavi frowned, standing. This made no sense. He stepped back onto the trail, urgency pulling him along.

Allen would be at the end of the path, he was sure of it. He had to get to the younger boy before those fates fell upon him.

"I have to help Allen!"

For a split second, the path seemed to elongate, but the horizon came speeding towards him, and Lavi stumbled, confused.

He tripped, and fell against a solid glass wall. This was where the trail ended, abruptly at that. He looked behind him, and the roses were disintegrating, flurries of petals filling the turquoise sky.

Lavi looked down; a large maze filled the ground below him, stretching on and on.

In the middle, something shined. The redhead squinted, and the warren seemed to zoom in to where Lavi was looking. It was a rosary, pulsating with a blue-white light. Around it, two small glowing orbitals pulsated as they circled the cross.

He gasped, the realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. It was the missing Innocence! He reached out, hoping to grab the rosary, but it zoomed away, and he was staring at the full labyrinth again.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something moving. He focused his attentions on it, and the image enlarged and isolated the moving factor.

It was Allen. He was hurt and crying, grabbing the walls to support himself. But despite that, he was moving forward… and taking all the wrong turns.

Before Lavi could even speak, the view of Allen sped away, and Lavi was once again back to the original view. He could see Allen's path perfectly, and it was going the completely wrong way; Allen needed to reach the Innocence, Lavi knew.

"ALLEN NO! NOT THAT WAY!"

Allen looked wearily up, and he smiled softly, clearly seeing Lavi.

He turned around, and began to work his way to where the platform where the red-haired Exorcist stood.

Lavi heard a sinister chuckle, and he turned around, a shiver spinning up his spine. Before him stood the Millennium Earl, the trademark grin wide across his face.

"Thank you for delivering Allen Walker's soul to me; I'll be sure it's you who sees what a fine demon he'll make," the Earl laughed, Lero snickering behind him.

Lavi spun around and beat against the glass with his fists. _**"NO! STOP ALLEN! DON'T COME NEAR ME! IT'S A TRAP BY THE EARL! GO THE OTHER WAY! HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU! THIS PLACE ISN'T REAL! I'M NOT REAL!"**_

Allen paid no mind, coming closer and closer to Lavi, and certain death…

"_La…vi… I lo…ve…"_

**-0111001101101100011001010110010101110000-**

Lavi woke himself with a scream. He sat up, the sheets helplessly twisted around his body like a straight-jacket.

He twisted away from them, hurrying to Allen's room.

It had been a week since they arrived at the Persian sector of the Black Order. Every day, Allen's health fell farther and farther away.

Lavi turned the corner quickly, surprising a few wandering Finders. He paid them no heed, speeding closer and closer towards the infirmary.

Komui's fears were confirmed the second that the guardian inspected him. Allen was dying, slowly and surely. The Innocence was eating him inside out.

The Exorcist burst through the doors, his eyes falling to Allen's bed. He trained his gaze on the boy's chest, and found it still moving.

Slowly, Lavi crawled into the bed next to Allen, gently holding the boy close. As he leaned forward, a crumpled and wilted rose fell against the smaller teen's chest.

Suddenly, he knew. He was the only one who could save Allen, because he just entered into the dream that the younger boy was trapped in.

He held the young, cursed Exorcist tightly, pressing his face into Allen's snowy hair. He could feel the boy's temperature rising to dangerous new heights, he could hear Allen's blood slowing down in its veins; if he didn't do something, Allen could never be recovered. It was a downward spiral from here.

"_Allen, I swear to God I won't let you die."_


	12. Dream Sept: Innocent Lies

**A/N:** _Um... so I've not updated... Ooops. But my internet's being squirrly, and it wouldn't load the stupid chapters, then I forgot because I was tired of my freaky internet, and then my internet crashed. Oops. So, I'm treating you guys to **three long** chapters as opposed to the one I would have posted three weeks ago... This isn't one of my favorite chapters, but... It's needed. _

_OH! Warning (which I'm eventually going to add to the first chapter), the rating has gone up not because of this chapter, but a chapter that will soon follow... I think it's going to be in three chapters. After that chapter, I don't know what's going to happen rating-wise, because I've not quite gotten there yet. Reassuring, no? _**

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Dream Sept: Innocent Lies 

He didn't want to go on. Forward was too tiring. He was hurt, he was covered in sweat, dirt, and blood. His heart was bursting and leaking with guilt and sorrow. He longed for something, longed for someone. He wished that person could hold him close, bandage his wounds, and tell him that everything was a lie. But he couldn't find that person; he couldn't hold them close… Dead… Dying… That sentiment rejected every thought about finding that yearned-for someone… Angry tears poured down his stained face.

"**Allen!!" **

"**No!"**

"**Not that way!" **

Someone was calling him. Someone familiar; the voice tugged at his heart, lifting his spirits. He felt like going forward. He turned his eyes to the sky, and saw Lavi. The elder teen was on a glass platform, his fists banging against a unseen wall.

Allen smiled, moving forward. If anything, it was Lavi who could keep him going. Always and forever.

"**No! Stop!" **

"**Allen! It's a trap!" **

"**The Earl wants to kill you!" **

"**Don't come near me!" **

"**It's not real!" **

"**I'm not real!" **

The snow-haired Exorcist stumbled forward, serenely smiling. Death? If it wasn't real, then how could he die? All that mattered now was getting to Lavi.

It all made sense now, the urgency, the want to move forward, the need to find someone; he was looking for Lavi. The one who always was there; a steadfast comfort.

He was in love with his best friend, Lavi.

"La…vi… I lo…ve…"

The boy's breath caught in his throat, falling to the ground. He was exhausted. He couldn't move any longer; his limbs screamed in protest. Allen looked up, and the older boy was no longer there. The boy struggled to get up, determined to find his friend, but he couldn't. It seemed as if a shadow was falling over the entire sky… Was this the death Lavi warned of…?

Then, everything became clear again.

"_Allen, I swear to God I won't let you die."_

Lavi's voice came from nowhere, lifting the boy to his feet. A swirl of rose petals cleaned away the dirt and grime and blood, cleaning Allen of the wounds of the maze. The boy blinked, feeling invigorated. Then, another wind came, washing away all the good that Lavi's voice had brought about.

Allen slid to the ground, his eyes spinning with black dots. His head felt like it was going to explode. Memories flashed through his mind.

Blood; his hands became stained at the tips, dried blood crumbling under his fingernails.

Fire; blisters rose across his hands and arms, his skin burned away and painful.

Choking; his throat ached and every breath he took irritated his raw lungs.

Death; tears welled in his eyes and he began to sob, shuddering painfully as his heart sped away from his body.

He curled into a protective ball, crying. He felt like he was going to die. His own blood began to flow around him, and his hand ached.

The memory of a chapel flooded his blackened brain.

"_I'm a what?" The man asked, his English heavily accented. He wore a ministers stole, a jeweled and almost luminescent rosary adorning his neck and chest. _

_Allen smiled, albeit fleetingly. "An Exorcist. We fight demons called Akuma with Innocence. Your rosary," he said, wincing as an explosion thundered outside. _

"_Wh-what was that?!" _

_Allen turned to the large, ornate wooden doors in the back of the cathedral. "Akuma. My companion is fighting them now." A shout echoed faintly, and the ground shook as an orange light flashed outside. "He's had to use 'Pillar of Fire'… level two… Please! You need to make a decision now, sir! They're after your Innocence!" _

"_My… Innocence?" As the minister spoke the rosary sparkled, and Allen's eye activated suddenly, the gears creaking slightly. _

"_Yes! You're an Accommodator! Hurry, please!" The Exorcist cried, activating his arm. _

_The minister gave a cry of shock as Allen's left arm turned into what seemed like a cannon. "I… I'll join these Exorcists!" _

"_Good! Now—"_

_Allen's instructions faded as windows began to shatter, Level One and Level Two Akuma pouring in. _

_Allen turned to face them, then was blown off the Altar as the wall behind him shattered. He glanced over his shoulder only to find that the minister was dead. _

_The boy swore harshly, readying himself for battle. _

Allen's teeth began to chatter, and he hugged his knees tighter, ignoring the burning wounds in his chest and stomach. What happened afterward? What… happened?

_There were too many Akuma. As soon as he destroyed one, another would take its place. It was hopeless; he couldn't win by himself. _

_Allen struggled to stand, holding his arm against his wounded stomach. He stumbled to the altar, tripping over the steps. He reached forward, straining to grab the Innocence. _

_He noticed blearily that it was trying to activate itself. A blue light pulsated from the center, and heat rose from the metal; it was trying to compensate for its suddenly dead Accommodator. _

_Allen closed his fingers over the blistering metal, screaming as it burned into his flesh and a sword-like claw ripped into his body, and then he felt no more. _

That's when these new memories began.

He clenched his jaw, pressing his back into the cool wall. He was cold and shivery, black danced upon every surface, and blood pooled around him. Dear Lord, he was dying; he could feel it. And there were so many things left…

Where was he going before he collapsed?

He was going towards something… someone…

Allen turned his glazing eyes to the sky, hearing his name.

"Allen, you have to wake up," Lavi begged, descending to the ground on his hammer. "You're going to die if you don't."

"Lavi, the Innocence!" Allen breathed, crawling towards his friend. "What happened to it?!"

"It's inside you; please don't forget this dream. Please—I'll see you when you dream again, so just…"

Lavi began to dissolve as Allen lost consciousness. Everything faded away, away… and transported the doomed Exorcist to the next dream, close to life, but even closer to death.

"_I'll remember… Lavi…"_


	13. Convergence One: Kiss

**Convergence One: Kiss**

"Augh…nn…" Allen stirred slowly; he hurt. It felt like all the wounds he had ever received had decided to gang up on him.

His eyes fluttered open, and he groaned.

"You're still dreaming, Allen."

The snowy-haired Exorcist turned his head slowly, looking across the room.

Lavi had his back to the couch that Allen was lying on, his fingers skimming against volumes of books that graced one wall.

The younger teen examined the room. It was medium in size, with light cream walls; a fireplace flickered warmth through the area, its mantle adorned with empty picture frames.

Allen sat slowly, gritting his teeth against the shriek of pain that was building in his throat.

"But you're _my_ Lavi, right?" he whimpered, staring sorrowfully at his redhead companion.

Lavi's shoulders shook, and the elder nodded. "I'm your Lavi," he mumbled, turning to face Allen.

The pale boy could see tears sparkling down his companion's face, and he raised his arms, holding them out towards the other. The next second, the two held each other close, Allen crying miserably.

"I remember it all, Lavi," Allen moaned, pressing his damp face into the hollow of the former Bookman apprentice's neck. "I'm _dying_. I don't want to die! I have so much that I need to do… I can't live without you!"

"You won't technically be living," Lavi remarked dryly, in an attempt to cheer Allen up. The boy pounded his fists weakly against the cherry-headed Exorcist. "Seriously…. You won't die, Allen. Not if I can help it."

"Aren't you scared?"

"Are you?" Lavi paused, feeling Allen nod softly.

"Well, I'm scared as hell too. I'm scared I'll never be able to love you like I want to, I'm scared I'm gonna lose you, and I'm scared I'll just end up doing what the Earl wants me to."

The younger boy stiffened slightly, then sighed. "Then I won't die, then," he muttered stubbornly.

"That's my Bean-sprout."

"But, Lavi, please… Tell me: What's wrong with me?"

Lavi sighed, staring down into Allen's pleading, mournful blue-gray eyes. He grimaced, sighing in defeat. "Your body absorbed that Innocence. You're sleeping, and won't wake up until we remove it. Or not wake up at all. …The fact that you can remember everything, and that your wounds have returned means…"

"I'm becoming a Fallen One, aren't I?" Allen whimpered, horrified. He clung to Lavi, trembling horribly. "I didn't mean to! The Innocence activated itself!"

The redhead held Allen tightly, soothing the boy the best he could, kissing the snowy mane of hair as he rubbed the slim, shaking back of his companion. "I know where it is; we can get it, I'll take it from here."

"Lavi, why are you here?" Allen asked suddenly, pulling away from Lavi as fast as his damaged body would allow.

"To save you."

"No," the small Exorcist shook his head, "_How_ are you here?"

"I'm asleep."

Allen sighed, leaning back against the couch. "I guess that excuse will work. Just… don't let me kill you or anything," he muttered bitterly, staring unhappily down at his Innocence-imbued arm. Slowly, tears ran down his face, and he began to hiccup softly. "Please don't let me…"

At this sight, Lavi's heart broke; he was too late to stop all the things he saw in the fountain. Allen was already hurt more than he could fix. He crawled forward, straddling Allen's hips, laying his hands on the boy's feverish cheeks.

Allen nuzzled his face into the cool touch, relishing the way the older boy's calloused palms and fingertips felt against his hot skin.

"Don't cry, you silly Bean-sprout—" " 'M not…" "I won't be dying on you anytime soon."

Allen barely kept a sob from passing his lips, and Lavi gently pressed his fingers against the boy's cheekbones. "Stop crying. You'll hurt my feeling Allen."

"Why?"

"You'll make me feel like I'm a bad kisser."

Lavi watched as Allen frowned in incomprehension, then leaned forward and caught the boy's gently curved lips against his own. Allen's eyes fluttered shut, and he clung to Lavi, kissing him eagerly back.

They kissed for a moment longer, cut off by a sudden fit of coughing from Allen.

Lavi pulled away, watching in horror as Allen's throat convulse, the boy completely wracked with horrible, wrenching coughs. "Oh god…"

Blood began to dribble down Allen's chin, his hands completely coated in the thick, red liquid.

"Lavi…"

The older teen leaned forward, cleaning Allen's face hastily. The boy's voice was so small and broken. "You're not dying! Don't even think it!"

Allen shook his head. "Hurry, please, Lavi. Save me."

The equipment-type Exorcist began to shake, and he could feel himself regaining consciousness in the real world. His body was fading; he grabbed Allen's shoulders tightly, bringing the boy into a lip-crushing kiss. "I love you," he said forcefully.

Allen nodded, watching sadly as Lavi faded away.

"_**Save me, so I can love you forever…"**_


	14. Convergence Two: Cry

**Convergence Two: Cry**

Lavi awoke, his face damp. He rolled onto his back, catching his breath as he watched Allen's sleeping form from the corner of his eye. The redhead sat slowly, leaning over to wipe the sweat away from the boy's face.

Blood.

Stricken, the Exorcist stopped, staring down at his sleeves. A dark crimson stained the cloth in the exact places he had used to clean Allen up in the dream. "Oh… damn…"

The then turned his gaze to the comatose boy, horrified. Like in the dream, a small trickle of blood seeped away from the boy's mouth.

In that second Lavi realized a few things things:

He could bring things back from the dreams.

God had not deserted Allen, but

Allen really was about to die, so

He had to get him awake, fast.

"_This has to work."_

**-0110000101110111011000010110101101100101011011100000110100001010-**

The next night, Allen was already in the room, awake and sitting on the couch. Lavi noted a strange look on the boy's face, and decided not to tell him of his physical status.

Close up, Lavi realized that Allen looked bad. "You look like hell," he blurted, cupping the younger teen's feverish face.

Allen chuckled. "I love you too, Lavi," he mumbled dryly.

"Well, it's the truth," the redhead whined, pulling the parasite-Exorcist into his lap. Allen winced, groaning softly as he was moved. "What's wrong?"

"It's getting harder to move; my joints are all stiff. …It's nothing. Let's talk," the boy pleaded, hugging Lavi's arms.

"We can talk when you wake up, Allen," Lavi murmured gently. "Right now, we have to figure out—"

"I went back to the maze. I got lost again; you started yelling out the right directions."

Lavi blinked; it was true—The Exorcist had fallen asleep during Mass, dreaming that he was once again overlooking that endless labyrinth of the Innocence.

"I think if I can make it through, I'll wake up."

"I'll draw you a map, then," Lavi mumbled, reaching over to a nearby table for a pen and paper. He sketched for a solid five minutes, then highlighted the correct path before giving it to the boy.

Allen gasped happily. "Oh, wow! It looks like the real thing! This is amazing, Lavi!"

"I'm good with my memory," Lavi laughed, tapping his forehead. "And cartography used to be part of my training when I was Bookman's apprentice."

"Wow… Hey! Wait! Used to? Was? What's that supposed to mean?!"

Lavi winced. "Well… you see, Allen… um… I wasn't supposed to choose sides in anything, or get overly involved… and… by falling in love with you… I ended up taking a side… Yours," he mumbled sheepishly, looking up at the ceiling as he blushed awkwardly.

Allen craned his neck, staring up at Lavi, lips trembling. "I got you into trouble, didn't I? I'm sorry," he mumbled quietly.

The older boy laughed, cuddling Allen. "You're such an adorable Bean-sprout!" He nuzzled the cursed boy's neck, whispering into his ear; "If I had to choose again, I'd always choose you, Allen."

Allen shivered, laying his head on Lavi's shoulder.

"But listen, Allen. We don't have enough time to go through that maze. I have a plan, and if it works, we won't need it anyway; we'll force the Innocence out."

Allen closed his eyes, breathing slowly; he nodded quietly, mouthing 'Tell me' against Lavi's neck.

"I can take things back from the dreams. I'll take you with me when I wake up; come with me. I need you to," the teen whispered into Allen's snow-white hair. He knew how sappy he was about to sound, but that was love for you. "I need you to. I can't stand seeing you like this anymore, Allen. I love you the most awake, when you're running around risking your life for others; when you're determined to live; when you're blushing like mad at silly things…"

Allen felt himself blush horribly, and he pushed his face closer to Lavi's cool skin. "Then take me."

Lavi swallowed and closed his eyes at Allen's reply; the boy was too innocent for his own good sometimes.

Nevertheless, the older boy held Allen close, and forced himself to wake up.

"_Please let this work."_

**-0110000101110111011000010110101101100101011011100000110100001010-**

Lavi woke first, finding that he was holding Allen tight in his sleep. He rolled off the bed, staring expectantly down.

Slowly, color rose to Allen's face, and his limbs twitched softly. Lavi held his breath.

Allen's eyes fluttered, and he opened them slowly. They were dazed, but he was awake. For a split second he smiled, but then his features contorted in pain, his breath catching in his throat and his pulse skyrocketing. He began to scream horribly, and he began to tear at his chest with his nails.

Lavi grabbed Allen's hands and forced them to his sides, struggling against a strength he knew wasn't the smaller boy's. He was shouting as well, but unlike Allen—who was shrieking in pain— he was calling for Komui.

"_**Stop it! It hurts! Stop it now! Please, make it stop! I want to die!"**_

Allen's Innocence began to activate, and Lavi held on tighter, straining to keep him some semblance of motionless.

Komui raced into the room, uncapping a rather large hypodermic needle as he ran. "Hold him still!" he barked, inserting the needle into one of Allen's IVs. "I'm trying!!"

Allen's eyes glazed over and he began to struggle even more, his anti-Akuma arm extending to it's fullest extent, infirmary workers dodging it anxiously. His mouth was still open, bloodcurdling curses and screams tearing away from his throat.

"**WHY!? IT HURTS!! MAKE IT STOP! LET ME DIE!!! OH GOD IT HURTS!!!"**

"Lavi, what happened?!" "I don't— He woke up!!"

Allen turned his gaze to Lavi, his eyes pleading as his body began to arch in a way that shouldn't be possible for any human.

"_**LAVI! KILL ME!"**_

Lavi shuddered, holding Allen tightly down against the bed until Komui's sedatives took effect. "I'm sorry Allen, I'm sorry. I didn't think it would hurt you! I can't kill you, I'm sorry! I'll never let you die!"

"_**IF YOU DON'T KILL ME, I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"**_

Lavi tightened his grip on Allen, shaking his head. "You won't, I won't let you, you won't."

Finally the drugs pulled Allen back into a safe sleep, his mouth moving as his voice failed him.

"**I trusted you, Lavi…"**

That night, Allen didn't return to their room, his inhuman screams echoing throughout the dream.

Lavi sat on the couch, hands folded tightly, tears running freely down his face.

"_I'm so sorry Allen. I'll never do anything so stupid again."_


	15. Dream Huit: Betrayal

**A/N:**_ And this, my friends... is the chapter that bumped the rating. It's not going to be what you think it will be, I'll warn you of that. SO: Warning is coming. _

**CHAPTER WARNING:** _Yaoi, malexmale, rape. _**

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Dream Huit: Betrayal 

The room was black, dark, and quiet. Allen hunched in the corner of the small room, shivering and crying softly.

Everything hurt so badly. Even breathing ached. Blinking was agony.

He couldn't even remember why he wanted to live anymore, it hurt so badly.

A soft hand stroked Allen's cheek, and he lifted his face to the contact, pain forgotten. Then he remembered; why he wanted to live: "Lavi," he breathed, a second hand joining the first.

Allen felt his head tipped up, and he submitted quietly, familiar lips pressing urgently to his own. A soft light blossomed behind his closed eyes, and he felt his body slowly relaxing.

The hands slid down his neck, the calloused fingers ghosting the curves of his throat and collar, making Allen shiver.

His mouth slid easily open, a warm tongue entering his mouth. For a split second, Allen panicked, but he was leisurely eased into complacency. It was farther than Lavi had taken him before, but he was shaken and needed comforting. He let Lavi have his way.

Allen was quite pleased and pliant with the gentle ministrations until it took a different tone. Suddenly the kiss was harsh and forceful, and Lavi's hands went down and started to undo the smaller boy's pants.

Allen was not pleased, he frowned, opening his eyes and attempting to push the older boy away, but he froze at the last second. He caught Lavi's emerald eye with his own and was caught stiff by the intensity of the other's gaze. It resembled something that he had seen in the previous Lavis, the ones that wanted him dead; this time, it was his body that Lavi wanted.

"No," Allen whispered, shaking his head. "You can't…"

"But you want me to take that innocence away from you," Lavi whispered hotly, his mouth descending to Allen's neck. He closed his teeth around the skin and the boy moaned, shuddering pleasurably. "You're not too opposed."

"You're not my Lavi."

The redhead shook his head, chuckling sadly. "I am deeply wounded by that, Allen," he whispered, his hands deftly tearing off Allen's shirt, the buttons falling with loud _plinks _to the floor.

"My Lavi would stop," Allen whimpered, trying hard not to moan as Lavi's fingers began to worry his nipples. "He would."

Lavi snickered, dropping his head to gently bite at a nipple his fingers had deserted in favor of traveling down Allen's flat stomach. The cursed boy whimpered softly, his stomach muscles quivering. "He wouldn't, Allen. I can tell you, and I'm not about to stop. You're too provocative."

Allen suppressed a sob of fear, jolting as Lavi's hand slid inside of his pants. "_Please_, no…"

"You're so damn cute and innocent, there are times I just want to drag you off and take you in front of everyone. Teach you that there are people who care about you; make you realize that you're only hurting us when you go all noble," Lavi hissed, his mouth colliding ruthlessly with Allen's. His fingers found the boy's shaft, and he squeezed tightly, causing the smaller boy to scream.

"Don't, don't…Please, don't," Allen panted, his voice barely audible through his moans.

"Why deny it? I want you, and you want me. Isn't that a part of love, Allen?" Lavi was working the younger boy now; his fingers squeezing and massaging the most sensitive area on Allen Walker's body, drawing moans and whimpers from the boy beneath him. "You want me," he whispered hotly into Allen's ear, the sheer lust and longing in his voice driving the white-haired boy mad.

Allen was shaky and hot, sweat dripped off of his skin. He ached in the most embarrassing parts, and he was ashamed to admit that Lavi was right. He wanted the older boy, badly. His body was proof of that. Desire pooled in his stomach, and with every nimble twist of the redhead's fingers, Allen would arch and thrust his hips unwillingly into Lavi's hand. He longed to do nothing more but to pull the other boy on top of him, crushing their damp, swollen lips together.

But he wouldn't do it. "Stop. Dammit, don't make me stop you!"

Lavi smirked. With a swift movement—Allen swore he barely had time to blink— his pants were gone, and his wrists were pinned tightly to the wall.

"Be a good little boy, Allen, and give in."

Allen whimpered, looking away from the older boy. "No. You stop," he whimpered defiantly. "Or I'll hurt you."

The redhead made an odd noise in the back of his throat. Keeping Allen's wrists pinned with one hand, he brought the other to stroke the younger boy's cheek. "You won't hurt me, Allen… You won't even stop me, because you know—deep down—that I'm your Lavi. And you want nothing more than to be with him in the most shameful of ways."

Tears began to leak from Allen's eyes, and he shook his head. "No. I don't want to. Not with you!" The boy longed to slap Lavi; make him taste blood in the back of his mouth, to bruise the handsome face.

Again the gentleness returned, and Lavi leaned forward, kissing Allen softly. "please, Allen. You're hurting my feelings," he whispered, his fingers stroking the boy's hair, skimming against his face and neck. "Why won't you believe me?" he pleaded, slowly straddling the younger teen.

Allen couldn't fight anymore, it all felt too good. He felt Lavi's hips shift against his own, the rough friction of the other boy's clothed crotch rubbing against his own erection sent Allen into a shower of pleasure. "Lavi…"

"See? I'm yours…"

Lavi pressed Allen against the wall in a kiss, the younger boy dissolving into moans and whimpers. Allen hated it.

He hated the way his body responded to Lavi's touch; he hated the fact that he loved how Lavi felt inside of him; he hated how he arched and clung against the older boy's every thrust.

He absolutely detested that it wasn't his Lavi, that he couldn't stop the older boy, and that he enjoyed every second of it.

Lavi hit a spot that made Allen see stars, and the cursed boy screamed as he came, loathing and loving every second of his—and seconds later, Lavi's—orgasm.

The redhead pulled away and stood, getting dressed without even a second glance at Allen. He turned, leaving just as he arrived; quietly and quickly.

"Lavi," Allen whimpered, trembling uncontrollably.

The older Exorcist turned his head, staring at Allen in contempt. "Do you think I actually love you, brat? You just got raped—by a guy, and you enjoyed it. You're nothing but a dirty, disgusting whore… A sex object."

And then Lavi left, leaving Allen hurt, broken, and crying in the dark. And it didn't matter to him that he got raped at all, because what hurt the most was the truth in Lavi's words.

He did enjoy it; the warm sticky coating of cum on his stomach and legs was testament to that.

Allen curled against himself, sobbing. It all just hurt. Life, love, Lavi… The pain of it all was just too much for the boy to handle. He wanted to die, but he was too scared to let unconsciousness take him away and whisk him to his next dream.

So he basked in the pain of loosing it all—Lavi, his life, his innocence—and he cried alone, letting the betrayal wash over his sore, broken body.

"I still love you more than anything," he whimpered, hiccupping harshly.

At these words, a bright light filled the room, and Allen opened his eyes, blinded by the bright glow of a cross-like object.

"**The… The Innocence!"**


	16. Convergence Three: Trusting Escape

**A/N:**_… I have learned an important lesson here. Never re-read your stories. Ever. You will then realize how utterly corny and cliché it is, then have such a hard time finishing it, because you keep thinking "What the hell was I thinking when I wrote this?! Was I on crack!?" and realize that you have to keep writing corny and cliché things. You also realize that you are more suited to dramatic and angst-driven romance, rather than the pure-hearted, sweet stuff you are attempting to write, because you've never been in any sort of pure-hearted relationship until now, and you wonder if everything's really that sappy, and then your head explodes because, regardless, you enjoy writing it, but you know someone out there is gagging like you did when you reread your own story... AND THAT IS WHY THIS CHAPTER HAS TAKEN SO LONG. Thank you, enjoy.** (I've also been busy with school and exams, but school's out now. And Emiggax is probably laughing her ass off at me.)**_

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**Convergence Three: Trusting Escape**

The next night, Allen was still missing, so Lavi decided to look for him: there was no time to waste.

Not knowing where else to look, the Exorcist went to the maze.

"I need to find Allen," he said softly, placing his hands against the glass plane, exhausted.

The horizon stretched, then shrank quickly, racing through different paths in the labyrinth, locating Allen after a long moment.

When the view finally settled, Lavi gasped in horror, his fists tightening against themselves.

Allen was huddled against a dead-end, bruises covering his body, dried blood caked against his pale skin. His hair was matted and he was shaking uncontrollably. He was crying violently, his mournful tone matching the stricken inhumanity of his screams the day before.

But what scared Lavi the most was the fact that Allen was completely naked.

"ALLEN! Allen! Are you okay?!" Lavi began to punch the glass, putting all his strength into it, fully intending on breaking through the glass to get to the boy. Small cracks began to spider-web under Lavi's fists.

Allen slowly raised his head, his eyes dim and glassy with pain. He winced when he looked at Lavi, curling tightly against himself.

Lavi began to pound the glass with renewed fervor, screaming. "Allen! ANSWER ME! Allen!!"

The silver-haired Exorcist ignored Lavi, the only signal that he knew that the older boy was there were his wails as he began to sob harder. Enraged at the poor progress of breaking the glass, Lavi pulled out his hammer and slammed it against the wall.

It crumbled easily, the view of Allen receding quickly. Luckily, the redhead had memorized the boy's location. He grabbed the handle of his anti-Akuma weapon, and rode as it extended right to where the cursed boy was curled.

He jumped off of his weapon, leaning over Allen. "Allen, are you okay?" he whispered, gently touching the boy's bare shoulder.

Allen raised his hand, brutally smacking Lavi.

Lavi stumbled backwards, and Allen dropped his head. The older teen wiped away a small rivulet of blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. "Allen?" At this point, the red-haired Exorcist was scared.

Allen didn't answer, sniffling quietly. Lavi reached out again, and the boy's head snapped up. "Don't touch me!" he shrieked, sobs catching his voice.

"Is this about waking you up?! Please, Allen, I didn't know! I'm sorry," Lavi begged, dropping to his knees. He reached out and gently tipped Allen's face up, leaning close.

The boy flinched violently, his eyes wild. "No, no, no, no! Don't touch me! I'll hurt you if you touch me again! **NO**!" His hands caught Lavi's arms, and he held fast, his nails digging into the cloth of the older boy's shirt.

Lavi sighed sadly, and dropped his hands, sitting back on his haunches. "Alright," he whispered. "I won't touch you."

Allen's lip trembled, and he threw himself against Lavi, shaking and crying horribly. "I'm not just a sex object, right?! You love me! You're my Lavi, right?!"

Lavi gently held Allen, pressing his face into the boy's matted snow-white hair. "Fuck," he swore. "Where did you get such a stupid idea, Allen? I'll be your Lavi as long as you want me to be; I'll love you as long as you want me to love you. And I'll never think of you as anything other than my Allen."

Allen hiccupped, coughing against Lavi's shoulder. Slowly, the elder boy let of the other, pulling his jacket off. "Come here," he whispered softly. He wrapped it around Allen's bare shoulders, finally getting a full look at the bruises.

"Allen… did… Were you raped in one of your dreams?" he asked, stricken.

Allen gulped, and gave a shuddering nod, flinching away. Lavi stood, holding Allen bridal-style against his chest. "Let's get you somewhere warm, alright?"

He grabbed the handle of his hammer, holding Allen tight as they flew back towards the platform.

Allen pressed his face into Lavi's shoulder, shivering; the older boy kissed the top of his head.

"I love you."

_01000101011101100110010101110010011110010111010001101000011010010110111001100111_

Once back in their room, Lavi bundled Allen up in a light blanket, and gently combed the knots out of the boy's soft, white hair. He kept quiet, waiting for Allen to allow for conversation; at the moment, the boy seemed content in staring at the fireplace, holding Lavi's arms around his waist.

"It wasn't you," Allen whispered hesitantly, his gaze far away. "It wasn't my Lavi. He kept saying that he was. But that Lavi wasn't my Lavi!"

Lavi closed his eyes in pain, squeezing Allen's middle gently. He felt sick. Allen… a dream… he had… He pressed his face into the smaller teen's hair, a shuddering sob leaving his mouth. "Allen…"

"He wouldn't stop. And I… I enjoyed it…"

Tears were falling freely into Allen's snow-white hair. Lavi couldn't take it. He wanted Allen to stop.

"Because… I… I gave in and began to think it was my Lavi… But you… you…'d never want to… take me, right?"

Lavi swallowed. "Never without your consent, Allen. Hell, sometimes I do want to grab you and… but I'd never… _Never_. If you said not to, I'd back off," he promised.

Allen squirmed away, and Lavi let him go, keeping his eyes tightly closed, awaiting another blow to the jaw.

Instead, Allen pressed himself flush to Lavi, hugging the older boy tightly. "I want my real Lavi. That's who I want," he whispered, crying softly.

Lavi pressed his lips urgently to Allen's mouth, lifting the boy into a kiss.

Allen shyly pulled away after a moment—Lavi was content with that—and he nuzzled his cheek to the other boy's neck. "I love you," he whispered. "So take this… and save me. I promise, once you save me, you can have all of me."

Lavi felt something hot and hard being pressed against his chest, and he looked down, surprised. Allen's human hand was pressed against Lavi's body, a small beaded loop visible through his fingers.

Allen dropped it into Lavi's hands, his face loosing all color as the Innocence left his grasp. He began to hack, and wounds began to open all across his body.

"What?! Allen, what's wrong?!"

Allen shook his head, blood spraying into his hands as he coughed. "I'm dying," he whispered.

Lavi stared blankly at the boy, and Allen deftly reached out and smacked him again with a blood-smeared palm.

"_**Take it, Lavi! **__**Hurry**__**!!"**_


End file.
